That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
