Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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