I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
