Swine flu. Run for my life!
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
