So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
