so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
