When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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