im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
