My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
