Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
