u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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