Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize