I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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