so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
