I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize