This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
