Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
