so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
