Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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