Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
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i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
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I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
BRING THE BAGELS
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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