I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
