can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
