I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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