i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
