just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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