If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
