On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize