Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
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Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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