I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize