Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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