Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me

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(313): I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me http://tfl.nu/x1tc

Replies (8) Good night (1436) Bad night (1529)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Small penises have feelings too.

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(573): Small penises have feelings too. http://tfl.nu/ikhv

Replies (68) Good night (824) Bad night (3791)
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(310): View more from California

kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.

(1-310): View more from California

damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.

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(310): kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley. (1-310): damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now. http://tfl.nu/1545

Replies (65) Good night (2501) Bad night (3437)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.

(1-630): View more from Illinois

if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...

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(630): I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends. (1-630): if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs... http://tfl.nu/id4n

Replies (51) Good night (10688) Bad night (1594)
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(713): View more from Texas

never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.

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(713): never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea. http://tfl.nu/cq0m

Replies (24) Good night (1130) Bad night (4104)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

her facebook's as public as her vagina

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(803): her facebook's as public as her vagina http://tfl.nu/w3ii

Replies (43) Good night (3185) Bad night (2564)
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(352): View more from Florida

never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..

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(352): never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party.. http://tfl.nu/fqwv

Replies (14) Good night (6553) Bad night (969)
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(513): View more from Ohio

The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon

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(513): The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon http://tfl.nu/vuj3

Replies (10) Good night (4643) Bad night (971)
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(631): View more from New York

Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.

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(631): Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me. http://tfl.nu/yrie

Replies (9) Good night (2746) Bad night (1108)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes

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(508): I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes http://tfl.nu/xrcl

Replies (37) Good night (5728) Bad night (1434)
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(480): View more from Arizona

You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.

(602): View more from Arizona

Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.

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(480): You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home. (602): Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul. http://tfl.nu/qvbw

Replies (10) Good night (2720) Bad night (725)
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(214): View more from Texas

Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.

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(214): Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming. http://tfl.nu/yp4i

Replies (21) Good night (1469) Bad night (1379)
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(253): View more from Washington

Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.

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(253): Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know. http://tfl.nu/n76e

Replies (6) Good night (582) Bad night (1336)
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(256): View more from Alabama

It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??

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(256): It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican?? http://tfl.nu/zvoh

Replies (1) Good night (631) Bad night (253)
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(613): View more from Ontario

There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"

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(613): There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave" http://tfl.nu/7c09

Replies (1) Good night (1050) Bad night (332)

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