Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.

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  (317): Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow. http://tfl.nu/7vty
  Replies (272) Good night (8573) Bad night (1396)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.

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  (970): I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?" (763): Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka. http://tfl.nu/xe07
  Replies (10) Good night (3464) Bad night (744)
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  (315): View more from New York

  He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?

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  (315): He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic? http://tfl.nu/piwl
  Replies (28) Good night (6692) Bad night (694)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.

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  (708): so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me. http://tfl.nu/mwnt
  Replies (58) Good night (14367) Bad night (1248)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.

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  (708): He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS. http://tfl.nu/pf4u
  Replies (58) Good night (14822) Bad night (1610)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.

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  (919): If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today. http://tfl.nu/n74k
  Replies (8) Good night (661) Bad night (2341)
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  (716): View more from New York

  whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete

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  (716): whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete http://tfl.nu/s3e3
  Replies (6) Good night (2749) Bad night (964)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix

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  (703): Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix http://tfl.nu/hs2f
  Replies (5) Good night (1642) Bad night (830)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.

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  (+61): You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes. http://tfl.nu/b96e
  Replies (2) Good night (2032) Bad night (876)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived

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  (845): Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived http://tfl.nu/83e2
  Replies (5) Good night (682) Bad night (1185)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.

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  (519): I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here. http://tfl.nu/gd63
  Replies (7) Good night (2801) Bad night (578)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.

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  (312): my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer. http://tfl.nu/1z92
  Replies (6) Good night (1056) Bad night (462)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever

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  (303): When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever http://tfl.nu/l7j2
  Replies (3) Good night (913) Bad night (507)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something

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  (601): She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something http://tfl.nu/xegg
  Replies (5) Good night (820) Bad night (319)
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  (209): View more from California

  He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.

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  (209): He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well. http://tfl.nu/cgxn
  Replies (5) Good night (262) Bad night (487)

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