well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.