Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
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