i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
