That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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