I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
