I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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