If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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