my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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