2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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