Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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