Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
