White coat. Heels.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
