There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
