Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
