i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
