She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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