ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize