Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
