bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
