You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...