Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.