On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.