Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys