you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
