help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
