Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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