How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
