Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
