they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
